Betty & Veronica by studio

"Women in Wigs" Project

Betty & Veronica by studio_aka

Veronica: Betty, which do you prefer? This shoulder-length, three-quarter fall, or the
full-head pageboy?

Betty: Hmmm...probably the one you're wearing, since you're going to one of your father's
fancy parties tonight. But they both look great; I'm really jealous of that custom-dyed,
blue-black virgin human hair you use for all your wigs, Ron!

Veronica: Don't be silly, Betty dear! Even though your pieces are off-the-rack, so to
speak, you spend so much time on them that they look almost as good as mine.

Betty: It's pretty amazing, isn't it, that we've both been wearing wigs full time since
the seventh grade, and none of the boys have figured it out yet!

Veronica: Well what do you expect? Archie's adorable, but he isn't a rocket scientist.
And besides, when he looks at me his eyes cross and he wouldn't know if I was wearing a
hat!

Betty: [sigh] I guess you're right about Archie, but what about ol' eagle-eye Reggie
Mantle? He's always sneaking around looking to cause trouble.

Veronica: Hah! On our last date he actually stroked my hair and came rather close to
finding out my little secret, but before he could get pretty far I slapped him in the
face. I don't think he'll be looking to closely at anything for quite a while!

Betty: True, but you know we're going to have 'fess up at *some* point. I think maybe
this weekend when Archie comes over to for his nightly homework help, I'll let him
"accidentally" get a peek at the wigs in my dressing room. Then when he gets all
flustered, I'll turn down the lights and let him kiss me all over while he slowly takes
off my wig. The poor boy will be so overcome that he won't know what to do first!

Veronica: Trying to steal Archie by going farther, faster, huh? Not a chance, you phony
blond! But tell you what: I have a better idea. If we really have to let Archie in on it
(which I guess we do if either of us ever wants to get off first base), let's do it in
style! We'll manipulate poor addled Archie into asking us BOTH dancing at the same dark
night spot. But I'll wear your blond wig, and you wear my black one! And as long as we're
at it, I'll loan you my falsies and a pair of my fake eyelashes, and I'll use your rather,
um, heavy-handed makeup for that "girl next door" look. Then, just when Archie is fumbling
around making excuses to keep us both happy, we'll rip off the wigs and call his bluff!

Betty: Oooh! That's a great idea, Ron! But wait, once Archie finds out that we've both
got short, mousy hair instead of these gorgeous manes he keeps lusting after, won't that
drive him right into the arms of that awful Cheryl Blossom?

Veronica: Fear not, old pal o' mine! I happen to know, in the of strictest confidence
from Monsieur Philipe, my hairdresser, that gorgeous Cheryl is really as bald as a
cueball! If Archie casts so much as a single admiring glance at that floozy, I'll arrange
a little "accident" for her beautiful red tresses that will have him back fighting over us
in no time at all. Besides, with all our wigs, I'm sure we'll be able to keep him busy for
a LONG time to come!
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Veronica: Hey, Betty, look! We can get everything we need for the switch right here: the
wigs, clothes, even the jewelry!

Betty: Except for those falsies of yours, Ronnie dear, which seem to get bigger every
time I seem 'em! Now, don't go cheap on me, Ron. If we're going to do this switch right,
we need to use the real goods. Even Archie would spot the difference between that tacky
Dynel wig and your custom-made, custom-colored ones. Not to mention your designer dresses
and *real* jewelry!

Veronica: [sigh] OK, OK, Betty, you win. I guess we should go back to my place and get
this show on the road. Last one to my place is a rotten egg!